Thursday, June 25, 2009

Congratulations!

You have found a very informative, helpful, and socially responsible blog. Reading it often may even get you college credit hours (not a legal claim - check with your local college. Definitely community college credit)

My name is Thaddeus A. Ledbetter esq. (soon to be) and besides being a member of seven groups and organizations, president and founder of 13 more, amatuer etymologist, rising star in the intellectual community, and efficiency expert, I will soon be publishing my defense against some of the most egregious injustices in recent memory. I definitely can't remember any worse.

Here I was, making my school and community a better, more efficienct place, and what thanks do I get? Stuck in In School Suspension FOR THE ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR! (please note the all-caps, bold, and intalics for emphasis). I know, it's almost unbelievable, but it did happen.

Luckily, I'm an exceptionally good record keeper, so not only am I publishing my defense, but accompanying documents that add perspective from administrators, my mom, my Uncle Pete (he's a lawyer), a lot of the kids, and what not. Sadly, not all of their perspective is accurate, but what can you do?

This blog will take you through the publication process, as well as educate you on all kinds of things and maybe even give you some pointers on how to be more efficient. I like to help people. That's who I am.

Thus far in the process, I believe I have discovered quite possibly the most inefficient profession outside of teaching and school administration - publishing. Either that, or they use different measurements for time than the rest of us.

For example, the good folks at Abrams have made the wise decision to publish my defense after being contacted by this guy name Dan, my agent (not the cool James Bond kind of agent more of the "I'm on my Blackberry at all times talking to "important people" kind). Anyway, they indicated they had the good sense of wanting to publish it and they'd get me a contract "pretty soon." You know how in the real world "pretty soon" means like after lunch, or maybe if there's a long weekend coming up, in three days. In the publishing world, "pretty soon" means a couple of months.

I could SO make this process more efficient with a diagram or two.

But after all the lawyers "reviewed' the contracts several times (my uncle Peter says a lawyers main job is to take something simple, add "the above mentioned parties," "henceforth," and "pursuant" and then charging billable hours for no apparent reason), I think we're ready to go. I'll let you know.

If you have any questions, comments, or nacho recipes, please feel free to post them. They will be edited for proper word usage and threats (I'm talking to you Billy Cunningham, so don't even try it)


PS - Thaddeus Fun Eytomological Fact - The word "blog" comes from the portmanteau construction of "web" and "log." "Web" refers to the early idea of a "spiderweb" of computers making up the internet. This is all good and well, but this is what happens when you let computer nerds manipulate the language. Instead of the word representing the communication of ideas in an electronic community, it sounds like something you get with a sinus infection. i.e. "I think you have a blog hanging from your nostril."