Sunday, January 17, 2010

After spending the weekend re-reading my comic book collection (sadly, I was grounded again in another miscarriage of justice) I have decided that Robin, of the Batman and Robin crime fighting team, is the least impressive superhero of all time. I don’t think either “super” or “hero” applies to this guy.
I can’t even figure what his crime fighting skill is? Batman doesn’t let him touch any of the cool weapons, he doesn’t have any super strength or the ability to fly, and I think his only marketable skill is that he was an acrobat. I guess if the bad guys were trying to escape by swinging from rope to rope, he’d be great, but how often does that happen? And I’m not sure when then the ability to tumble would ever be helpful trying to stop an evil genius.
“Phew, the Joker was about to blow up Gotham City, but was distracted by Robin’s impressive body control during a triple somersault. Hooray tumbling!”
And what’s the deal with his secret identity? Robin? Is he supposed to be like the bird? What could he possibly emulate a Robin doing that would be helpful? Get up early and get the worm? Why would anyone want a worm?
Not to mention his whole disguise is just a 1920’s burglar mask and a cape. Now that I’m on the subject, why does anyone have a cape? Robin, Superman, Dracula, all have capes for no apparent reason? The cape could be the most useless article of clothing ever.
So Robin is a talentless, cape wearing, bird named kid. Maybe he was one of those “make-a-wish” kids who wanted to be a superhero and Batman had to do some community service. Otherwise, at my school, this “superhero” would be beat up by Billy Cunningham.